i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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