direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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