Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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