Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
