And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
My bed smells like the plague
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
