oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Farmville is her only friend.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Randomize
