he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
