my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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