what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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