Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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