dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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