THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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