id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
