I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i came on her dog
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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