Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize