A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
