Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
