I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
