Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize