you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
