Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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