I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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