i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize