got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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