dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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