my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize