I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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