how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
