Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't turn off my feet"
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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