Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
