You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
