Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
