we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
