Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
