Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
