margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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