Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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