I think im going to throw up on grandma
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
