Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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