did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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