batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
