i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
