I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I just blew my weed a kiss
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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