He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
should my penis look like a turkey
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
