I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
