my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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