I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
