WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
