I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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