matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
this will be a night to untag.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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