We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
