If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
