Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone came in the potted fern
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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