Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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