Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
