just survived the first fart of the relationship.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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