sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
