Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
