This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
