I'm jealous of your bromance
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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