Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
