I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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