So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize