I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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