he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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