I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
they're like a gay fantastic four
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
