If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
